Become your own cheerleader, your own motivator, your own person who loves and celebrates your real self, the real you. It’s not about being perfect, it’s not about being superhuman, it’s about being real. It’s about loving yourself for who you are. It’s about finding the confidence to love yourself. It’s about enjoying who you are, the real you. And all of that is possible once you learn to appreciate the real you.
Everyone has a story. Some just want to forget where they came from, while others want to take a look behind the curtain and discover the real them, but it’s not easy. If you’re anything like me, you’re in search of a simple solution to improving yourself. Because not everyone has the same formula to be successful, I want to teach you to appreciate the real you.
Knowing how to appreciate the real you can be a difficult task. The truth is, we all do it. But to recognize how we do it is a far more difficult task. The real you is your innermost self, the one that will not let anyone tell you how to be. But, this innermost self is also the one that is most embarrassed by the real you.
I spent most of my life trying to fit into an ill-fitting mold. Instead of learning to accept myself as I am, I kept fighting to be what I thought I should be or what I thought I would become. As a result, I have not been able to be true to myself. For years I let my dreams and misguided life plans get in the way of my identity. Over the years, I’ve let my possessions define me. In reality, they kept me from revealing the real me.
Weight of our tangible fixed assets
After graduation, I found it very difficult to say goodbye to the novels I had read during my four years of English. In college I studied the hardest subjects and for some reason those old mediocre titles felt like trophies. As I lined up these books on my bedroom shelf, I was overcome with a sense of pride and accomplishment. When I went to college as a senior, my fate seemed sealed. I planned to study literature and fulfill my childhood dream of becoming an English teacher. It turned out that fate had other plans for me. Two months after I graduated in humanities, I started working as a software engineer. My future career had absolutely nothing to do with these novels, yet I couldn’t let them go. These books connected me to my past and to an alternate version of my future. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to any of them.
Letting go of things that do not serve you
It makes sense to hold on to what you love. I love to immerse myself in a good book or a fantasy world, but my books no longer fulfilled that function. Instead, they stood on the shelf, covered in dust. These books reminded me of my hard work in college and my hope to spend my days indulging my love of literature. In a way, they represented the books I still wanted to read and the hope that I would never lose my passion for reading and writing.
Letting go of past dreams
One day, as I was cleaning up, I grabbed a stack of books off the shelves and stacked them in a big pile on the floor in front of me. I picked up these novels, leafed through them and decided, quite unexpectedly, to throw them away. It was incredibly hard for me to get rid of my books. I looked at each one carefully, holding them in my hands and stopping before forcing myself to put them in the box. Sometimes I would take them out and put them back on the shelf, then put them away. Throughout most of my childhood, I thought I would become a teacher or professor, but now I had a very different life path in mind. By letting go of these books, I let go of the person I dreamed of becoming. 1С8 1Д9 It’s hard to let go of our dreams.
Years after I graduated, I kept buying new novels. I filled my shelves with stories, but never had time to read them. Instead, I devoured books on programming languages and coding. While my career path has changed drastically, my personal identity has not. I kept telling myself that I would find time to read, but the shelves proved otherwise. When the dust settled from the book covers, I felt guilty that I had chosen a different path in life. The shelf was full of wasted money. I wouldn’t read those books. No matter how interesting the stories seem. I always wanted to be that girl lying on the green grass reading novels, but that wasn’t me. Instead, I was a woman who spent hours staring at her computer screen writing code. The person I became was far from who I thought I was.
Do you feel a strong attachment to your possessions?
I’m not alone. I know many people who buy books but never read, brushes but never paint, yarn but never knit. We keep these things in little corners of our house, and most of us feel guilty about it. We feel guilty about spending money on things we don’t use and regret not taking the time to use them. Although we examine these points from time to time, we do not change our behavior. We don’t stop buying new books, brushes or yarns, and we don’t suddenly start using them. Of course, at some point in our lives we will find the time to use this equipment. Isn’t that so? What if I don’t? Is the property crisis making us desperate? Do we give up hope of pursuing the passions that once seemed important? When we throw those things away, are we giving up our faith in what we think we should do or be? Do you think you will one day read, paint, play an instrument, learn new creative skills or knit? Most of us do. I have made similar mistakes many times in my life.
There was a large china cabinet in the corner of my dining room. Expensive wedding gifts glistened and sparkled behind the glass doors. Elegant decanters, pitchers and shiny silver plates filled the glass shelves. I remember well how I unwrapped these delicate gifts and carefully placed them on the shelves. As I unwrapped it, I imagined hosting extravagant dinners in the future, with delicious hors d’oeuvres and bright cocktails. This china cabinet has been there for almost fifteen years, but my husband and I have only eaten in it once, on Christmas Eve.
Separating my things
A few years after the birth of my second child, we remodeled our house and removed most of the furniture from the dining room. We sold the ornate china cabinet, donated some decorative plates, put some plates in a box and hid them in the basement in a remote corner of our house. This corner of the dining room is now empty. Where there used to be a wall of dishes, there is now a lonely painting. The remaining cabinet will no longer contain plates and bowls. Instead, it’s filled with Play-Doh, popsicle sticks and finger paints. You’d think I’d be disappointed by this change, but I’m not. At least I don’t do that anymore. Years after I put the closet away, I feel a huge sense of relief.
Stay true to yourself
The truth is, porcelain doesn’t represent me. Before I got these gifts, I was never in the mood for fancy dinners. I only registered in China after several family members persuaded me to do so. My husband and I bought our house a few years ago. We didn’t need regular plates, napkins or cutlery. Incorporating this luxury just makes sense, my in-laws told me. But over time, I began to get annoyed with the bulging furniture in my dining room. The huge closet needed regular cleaning and dusting. I wanted to throw away that expensive piece of furniture, but I felt guilty about throwing away gifts that others had spent their hard-earned money on. I also felt guilty that I had never used those beautiful plates and bowls. My idea of throwing extravagant parties was at odds with my true desires. When I throw a party, I want to do it on a hot summer day, with a hot grill, paper plates and a big pile of vegetables and hot dogs on the grill. There’s probably a slide, a wheelbarrow full of beer, and a big pile of pastel crayons in the driveway. You won’t find fancy china, engraved wine glasses and perfectly ironed tablecloths here.
When I removed the china cabinet from my house, I felt like a failure. In ten years I have only organised one event for which I needed porcelain. How is that pathetic? My dream of hosting parties never came true, and I didn’t become the person I thought I would. But in reality, I wasn’t that person. Why was I clinging to something that gave me no joy? Isn’t it worse to walk past an unused piece of furniture than to give it away? When the time came, I found it hard to get rid of the closet, but I was happy with the space it freed up. Instead of worrying about what I was giving up, I was making more room for the things I care about. For years I convinced myself that I was giving up something valuable, but it wasn’t the cost of those meals or the loss of the ability to throw fancy parties. By getting rid of these things, I made room to spend time with my kids, who I value far more than pretty china. I get much more out of living with less. Unfortunately, it took me too long to find out.
Trying to meet the expectations of others
When my oldest son was very young, my husband and I built a container garden in a small corner of our yard. I thought it would be an interesting way to spend some time outside and get my hands dirty. After planting the first garden, my husband decided to make three more, but it turned out I was not a gardener. I often don’t feel well when it’s very hot in the summer. My son didn’t want to dig in the yard, so we found many other ways to have fun outside. I immediately felt uncomfortable. My husband didn’t consult me before planting these gardens, but I still felt uncomfortable. I knew I wouldn’t be weeding the weeds or taking the time to plant them. Instead of removing the boxes and admitting I’m not a gardener, I let the weeds take over. Every time I walked by, I felt more and more disappointed and embarrassed.
Linking our possessions to our identity
I didn’t understand how my business affected my personality. I tried to live my life the way I thought I should live it, not the way I wanted to live it. It meant I wasn’t true to myself. I found it hard to open those garden boxes and pack up those fragile plates and bowls, but when they were gone, I was just relieved that they were gone. Getting rid of the beautiful china was as satisfying as packing up novels from the college days. I kept these things hoping to use them. At the same time, I felt sorry for them.
Does your company make you feel bad?
How many times have you bought beautiful sewing supplies with the intention of getting creative? And yet you think you’ll never have time to be creative. The next time you go out, repeat the pattern. You buy nicer accessories that end up in your desk drawer. You walk past the wall of books in your office, but you never pick one up off the shelf. Then convince yourself to buy more. We’re not always honest with ourselves. I like reading books, you say. If that were true, wouldn’t you take the time to read them? You may enjoy lying in a hammock reading on the weekends, but in reality you will find other ways to spend your time. Do you have a box of crafts you’re interested in or a set of books on your shelf? Are you sure you’ll ever be able to tackle these unfinished projects? I always thought a future version of me would be better. I didn’t realize the current version of me is amazing at this point. When I got rid of those things, I thought I would have guilt and regret. Instead, I felt relieved. I let go of unrealistic expectations of myself. Expectations that didn’t really define me.
The same applies to other goods. After quitting a well-paying job, I found it hard to get rid of my work clothes. As my relationship deteriorated, I found it difficult to get rid of the old notes and letters. I make up a million reasons to hold on to my possessions, but they’re all poor excuses. Sometimes I feel guilty spending people’s hard-earned money. I sometimes feel guilty for choosing a different path in life, but that’s not why I’m fighting to get rid of it. I struggle because I let these things define me. If I buy books, I may feel like a civilized, intellectual person, but I’m not if I don’t read them. Keeping old letters will not revive old relationships. For years, I tied my personal value to my net worth. I also associated my identity with my possessions.
Do these objects represent me?
If my house had burned down ten years ago, would I be worried about the porcelain? No, not for a second. Shouldn’t that be a sign that I don’t need or want it? After I got rid of the china cabinet, I made a decision. I wanted to stop thinking about the vision I had created for myself and write a new story. Not a story about what I think I should be, but a story about who I am. I forced myself to see the old china cabinet as a shiny mess.
Be patient with yourself
The struggle doesn’t stop with taking away a few books or beautiful china. The pattern repeats itself over and over. I keep a box of my kids’ old toys and books in one of the rooms in our attic. They are facing the decision to become stay-at-home moms, not to mention the years of love I have given to my children since they were born. Although my boys are now five and nine, I have a hard time letting go of the image of a young mother. I let my objects enhance my memories.
Over the years, I have forgiven myself for holding on to things that I would have been better off getting rid of. I’ve also learned to separate myself from things that don’t define me. It helps to be honest with yourself. Sure, I could spend the money and continue the cycle of disappointment. I can keep dishes, buy new books I’ll never read, and garden tools I’ll never use. I can also look at the dust growing on my shelves and a garden full of weeds, or I can take a break, re-evaluate my goals and try to figure out who I want to be.
Some lessons learned about my business
Our possessions have a greater impact on our psyche than we care to admit. We can easily associate our hopes, dreams, aspirations and achievements with the objects around us. It’s hard to leave these things behind, but to live the best life we can, we have to. If we have wrong ideas about ourselves, we cannot discover our true identity. We need to get rid of unnecessary things to make room for the things we love. Our possessions can make us feel like failures. Am I a failure because I choose not to garden or waste my time reading novels? To create a better future, we must honestly reconsider our aspirations. Are you going to use DIY items in your home or is it time to give up on that goal and put them away? Either find time for these tasks or abandon them. Aspiration is a strong desire to do something, but there is a big gap between hope and success. Don’t let your efforts become overgrown with weeds or dust. If so, ask yourself if you are striving to achieve them? When you go shopping, don’t buy things you don’t need. Then convince yourself to use the things you have before you buy new ones.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
Above all, remember that you are good enough. I don’t have to garden, throw fancy parties or read books to get better. I’m no longer ashamed of all the things I haven’t done well in my life, and I don’t want to keep measuring myself against them. To understand this, I had to get rid of the possessions that distorted my identity. I had to delete things that created an identity for me that wasn’t mine.
Be proud of yourself
A few years ago, I didn’t realize how much I had tied my identity to my possessions. In my mind, these objects represented my past, my present and my future. The problem is that these were distorted ideas of who I was and who I wanted to be. If I needed these things, I would use them. If not, it was time to kick her out. Every time I removed one of these things from my home, the guilt and shame disappeared. It was replaced by a great sense of relief.How many times have you heard a person lament the fact that they are not their best self? How many times have you heard others say that they “don’t feel like themselves lately”, or that “something is off” about them? Sadly, we all know that these individuals are not their best selves. They are bogged down by things that they don’t want to be and things that they wish they didn’t have to be. Instead, they could be living a life that was much better than what they have now.. Read more about reasons to appreciate someone and let us know what you think.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I learn to appreciate myself?
Your life is the sum of all the moments you’ve lived, and the way you think will determine how you act. No one is born with a set of good or bad qualities. In fact, people can be so similar in appearance and personality to other people that they can be confused with their own relatives. The challenge, then, is to accept yourself for who you are, and not compare yourself to others. Self-esteem is an underused word in the world of finance. Many people overestimate their abilities and think that any consequence is the result of their own misfortunes, rather than just bad luck (e.g. a bad round of trading, or a big loss). Unfortunately, this type of thinking leads to disappointment and anxiety.
What should we learn to appreciate?
After reading this article, I hope you will look at your life in a different way. I have made it my mission to challenge you to learn to appreciate what you have, instead of always looking for more. As I hope you will see, it is never too late to appreciate the good things in your life. I encourage you to start today. Certain things in life can really put a damper on your mood. Your friends, your job, and your relationships with family and especially your significant other can really put a damper on your happiness. The truth is, you should be able to appreciate the good things in life, but most people miss out on so many nice experiences. In this blog, we will be talking about the many things that one can appreciate in life from a financial standpoint.
How do you show genuine appreciation?
In the world of work, it’s getting harder to show appreciation for one’s colleagues and bosses. Everyone is in a rush to get to the next task, get ahead in the office, or just give less than their best. This is unfortunate, because the simple act of showing appreciation can boost morale and help relationships thrive. Many people have a hard time doing this because they don’t believe they’re worth it. For many of us, the art of giving seems to have been lost. We find ourselves giving to people we don’t really know… strangers! We give because we feel like we have to, or because we think it’s the “right thing to do”, but for many, that’s not enough. So today, we’re going to talk about the gift of giving that is so much more important than giving through a donation.
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